Alright first off… LOOK AT THOSE ROCKIN BANGS. They're just so dang hot. I'm actually thinking about bringin em back….
A few days ago my mom and I were talking. Talking about everything. Boys, school, dance, my siblings, what she’s doing as an empty nester, really just everything about life. We also reminisced on some old memories. One of which happened to be the time I broke my leg at the age of 5. I remember that moment quite well. Me and my three other siblings were playing on the trampoline in our backyard. My mom came out and started jumping with us. After throwing some gymnastics tricks and playing a few games, we began double bouncing each other. For those of you who do not know what that is, it's where one person times there bounce to happen right before the others person bounce, causing the later bouncer to go flying high. You literally feel like you're hanging in the air for at least 10 seconds. It's a wonderful free feeling. But it is also highly dangerous since you can't control where you land or how you land or how high you go. My mom had actually forbidden us from doing any double bouncing. So it's highly ironic that she ended up double bouncing us. Us kids took turns soaring into the air by my moms perfectly timed double bounces. It was just grand, that is until a mishap occurred during my turn. I heard a snap as I landed. I assume everyone else heard it too because my siblings just stared at me and my mom rushed over to me. As I reflect back to that moment, I don't ever remember feeling too much pain, but I did cry… hard. I feel like my mom was slightly more panicked than I was but I don't really know for sure haha. My mom picked me up, took me inside and laid me down on the couch. In order to know if I broke my leg or not my mom asked me to put some pressure on it. I really really did not want to do this, but I stood up on my good leg and slowly lowered my other foot to the ground. As more weight transferred to this foot, my leg (at my knee area) snapped back (an extreme hyper extension). It felt like nothing was there. Noting stopped my leg from bending in the direction it should. IT WAS THE WORST PAIN I HAD EVER FELT. I remember screaming out in pain and tears just began flowing again. With that my mom picked me up again and loaded me into the car in order to go the hospital. We found out I broke my tibia right at the top, pretty close to the growth plate in my knee. Got a cast. Got a wheelchair. Took a few months to recover, but there were no lasting effects. And thats basically the story.
Now what I want to focus on is the fact that I have never held this whole situation against my mom. At least I didn't think I was. But I do remember thinking back and finding it very funny that she asked me to walk on it. I just think its funny. Like I literally laugh ever time I think about that moment. The thing that I never realized is that when I would joke about it, my mom would never laugh. I never ever saw this until just a few weeks ago when we were talking about it and I started joking about the fact that she wanted me to walk on a broken leg. As this went on, I finally saw that she just completely shut down. I came to realize that she blamed herself for my broken leg and it seems like she's never forgiven herself for it. I tried explaining to her that I found it absolutely hilarious and I never ever held anything against my mom for the incident. It was NOT her fault. But she just couldn't let it go. As I've been thinking about it more, I realize the immensity of the situation. Thinking about when I have my own daughter and if that same thing happened to her…. I probably would blame myself too. I would always feel bad about it. I understand more why she feels that way. I never thought about her and her feelings about it all when I would bring it up and tell the story, exaggerating the details to make it funnier. The thing is its not funny at all. As I try to look at the situation from her perspective, I realize that I should not have been so inconsiderate. It's crazy how putting yourself in other people's shoes can completely change the way you look at things.
A few days ago my mom and I were talking. Talking about everything. Boys, school, dance, my siblings, what she’s doing as an empty nester, really just everything about life. We also reminisced on some old memories. One of which happened to be the time I broke my leg at the age of 5. I remember that moment quite well. Me and my three other siblings were playing on the trampoline in our backyard. My mom came out and started jumping with us. After throwing some gymnastics tricks and playing a few games, we began double bouncing each other. For those of you who do not know what that is, it's where one person times there bounce to happen right before the others person bounce, causing the later bouncer to go flying high. You literally feel like you're hanging in the air for at least 10 seconds. It's a wonderful free feeling. But it is also highly dangerous since you can't control where you land or how you land or how high you go. My mom had actually forbidden us from doing any double bouncing. So it's highly ironic that she ended up double bouncing us. Us kids took turns soaring into the air by my moms perfectly timed double bounces. It was just grand, that is until a mishap occurred during my turn. I heard a snap as I landed. I assume everyone else heard it too because my siblings just stared at me and my mom rushed over to me. As I reflect back to that moment, I don't ever remember feeling too much pain, but I did cry… hard. I feel like my mom was slightly more panicked than I was but I don't really know for sure haha. My mom picked me up, took me inside and laid me down on the couch. In order to know if I broke my leg or not my mom asked me to put some pressure on it. I really really did not want to do this, but I stood up on my good leg and slowly lowered my other foot to the ground. As more weight transferred to this foot, my leg (at my knee area) snapped back (an extreme hyper extension). It felt like nothing was there. Noting stopped my leg from bending in the direction it should. IT WAS THE WORST PAIN I HAD EVER FELT. I remember screaming out in pain and tears just began flowing again. With that my mom picked me up again and loaded me into the car in order to go the hospital. We found out I broke my tibia right at the top, pretty close to the growth plate in my knee. Got a cast. Got a wheelchair. Took a few months to recover, but there were no lasting effects. And thats basically the story.
Now what I want to focus on is the fact that I have never held this whole situation against my mom. At least I didn't think I was. But I do remember thinking back and finding it very funny that she asked me to walk on it. I just think its funny. Like I literally laugh ever time I think about that moment. The thing that I never realized is that when I would joke about it, my mom would never laugh. I never ever saw this until just a few weeks ago when we were talking about it and I started joking about the fact that she wanted me to walk on a broken leg. As this went on, I finally saw that she just completely shut down. I came to realize that she blamed herself for my broken leg and it seems like she's never forgiven herself for it. I tried explaining to her that I found it absolutely hilarious and I never ever held anything against my mom for the incident. It was NOT her fault. But she just couldn't let it go. As I've been thinking about it more, I realize the immensity of the situation. Thinking about when I have my own daughter and if that same thing happened to her…. I probably would blame myself too. I would always feel bad about it. I understand more why she feels that way. I never thought about her and her feelings about it all when I would bring it up and tell the story, exaggerating the details to make it funnier. The thing is its not funny at all. As I try to look at the situation from her perspective, I realize that I should not have been so inconsiderate. It's crazy how putting yourself in other people's shoes can completely change the way you look at things.
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