Losing…

All my life, I've played sports. From a very young age I was somersaulting and cartwheeling and bridging/back bending and doing the splits and just running around like a crazy little girl. At 3 years old my mom placed me in a recreational gymnastics class and thats when sports began to take over my life… in a good way though for sure. I spent 11 years as a gymnast, 11 as a soccer player, 4 as a volleyball player, 3 as a swimmer, 3 as a track runner/pole vaulter and if you really wanna include this 1 as a diver hahaha. I also did dance sporadically throughout my K-12 years. I spent all my time on a competitive team or club. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that sports have always been there for me. I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't participating in some sort of athletic event. The thing is, I never ever, not once, got sick of the sports I played. I LOVED them all! Even in my free time, my favorite things to do was go out and play a game of ultimate frisbee or football with my friends. Really I would be down for anything that had to do with playing a sport. Oh and I'm ALWAYS willing to try new things. Like I did lacrosse for about a month just because my school was getting a team and it seemed like a lot of fun. And it was! Sadly time and some other things kept me from playing. I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that sports are an integral part of my life. I can't imagine it without them.
Here at college, however, I have not only had to imagine life without sports, but I basically have had to live without sports. I knew college would be crazy, schedule wise, and that sports would't be a prominent thing in my life anymore. But I feel like I'm missing something inside me. I mean I was on an intramural ultimate team and am currently on an intramural volleyball team, but games are only once a week, and that just doesn't quite suffice. Especially transitioning from practices everyday and games twice a week. It's just so different. And yeah I've got two dance classes that I am absolutely in love with. But again, each class is only two days a week for an hour. I honestly feel like I have lost a piece of myself. Ever since I got here something has been missing. And lately I've been coming to realize that it has a lot to do that I am no longer as involved with sports. Yeah, watching BYU sports is great fun and the environment is great. But there is just something about being on a team and feeling the nerves kick in as game time rolls around during warming up. Nothing can beat the feeling of sticking a tumbling pass, or making a goal, or getting a great kill, or setting a new PR time. Nothing, absolutely nothing beats those feelings. I really really miss that part of my life. And I'm not really sure what I can do to get it back or fill that void. Losing a game sucks. But losing sports is worse.